Churchill Chutney

This was a bit of a George’s Marvellous Medicine. In fact, if I wasn’t so damn humble, I’d call it Nathaniel’s Marvellous Chutney. So treat it like that, and if you notice something on the shelf that you think might be nice, whack it in. Just don’t go too mental, and keep the base the same.

The apples are picked from a Cambridge orchard across the road from my girlfriend’s house, but if you haven’t got the time to drive out there, bramleys or other crisp varieties will do just fine.

Roughly chop four or five onions then peel and chop your apples – about 10 for 4 or 5 jam jars’ worth. Put them in a big pan with a knob of butter, half a pint of vinegar, two cups of brown sugar, a couple of glugs of pineapple juice and cider (I used Scrumpy Jack from the offy at the end of the road, but if you have something posher, hark at you) and a pack of stoned, roughly chopped dates – maybe a few raisins. Spicewise, some cinnamon, ground coriander and allspice, but again you might want to perfect your own blend.

Keep it simmering for 2 to three hours, stirring to stop it sticking to the bottom of the pan. It’ll turn dark as it makes the house smell beautiful, and you know it’s ready when you run a spoon across the bottom of the pan and the liquid doesn’t immediately fill the tracks.

Fill up some sterilised jam jars and mature ‘til Christmas.